MAKING SHIT, TAKING RISKS & LEARNING THROUGH THE INTERNET

Sorry for the huge delay for a new blog post! I set a mantra for this blog and my YouTube videos that I wouldn't write or make something  for the sake of it and rather, i'd put out things when I had something to say. 

Now we're mostly all politics'd out. My Facebook has spent 8 weeks filled with political posts both left, right and Trump. My spirit to Instagram is at an all time low.  Statistically, I've never posted as little as I do now - not for lack of having stuff to post but, the truth is, i just don't seem to care enough about watching likes roll in and moving onto the next post to wash, rinse and repeat.

OK SO I'M OFFICIALLY 'OLD' and all these social platforms are getting on my gravitationally cowering tits. But one isn't. YouTube. YouTube and the splintering blogs that come with it are centered around people making shit. And (other than discovering it's perfectly OK to start a sentence with and) i think it's because the ideals of YT align with mine, that of 'making shit' and putting it out there even if you get torn to shreds. It's brutal even for the best of the best on YouTube. But at the heart of it, the visual story does the talking not the retrospective instagram post blurb and hashstag festival that follows.  

OK, here's some people coaching from Senor Harris. 'Rather than posting an insta photo, and holding your knees rocking as those LIKES dribble in like a toddler munching their first breakfast, go and make more content.. make loads. Set one story you'd like to tell and be critical towards it, how you want to approach it and then go for it. Plan to make one thing for absolutely no reason this month. Devote some money to it if it needs it. Ask friends questions about how to approach it or what they would do differently. Then go make it real. 

At the heart of creating or 'making shit' is taking risks. Instagram posts and posting doesn't feel like making shit to me any more, nor a risk. it feels like marketing yourself, not being creative. It feels like flavouring bullshit about a visual and hashtagging it in equal measure to a lukewarm audience. My website sits there for people to view as reference to my work.. why do i need to put out a more convoluted portfolio on Instagram for public approval? The only risk here is me watering down my style and look and feel. Here are some of my good week to week risks:

1. When i send off my music videos treatments to my agent, i feel like i've driven into a horrible limbo where i've put myself, my thoughts, and my heart out there to be smashed to pieces.

2. When i make a YouTube video, i feel like i've buckled my head into a guillotine waiting to be ripped in two. Or if i make one and it never goes out and i still feel like a knob for having talked to a camera in an empty room for 5-10 mins. Try it. It's fucking weird and something i don't think i'd get used to. 

3. A) Leaving behind my digital cameras for a shoot and committing to film B) When i put film in my film camera instead of an SD card (in my digital) and tell a band what to do, i feel like i've risked their time over something that i could fuck up the development for. A risk for the reward of work that sits tightly within my style. 

4. Cooking something new every day for the next 42 evenings. 

But the reason i take these risks is they make me feel something. They extinguish any complacency or comfort from the creative i'm undertaking and i feel like i'm learning. I really, at the heart of these things, want to feel fear and the payoff for that fear that flavours the activity and makes it more exciting. 

When aspiration is important. 

I've found searching YouTube to watch reviews, travel vlogs,  personalities and practical real life videos about things i'm sparking interests in a game changer. Some videos on YT are so inspiring they full on kick my ass into trying new things and putting myself out there . Here are some things i've taught myself or been inspired to do and want to do through watching videos on YouTube. 

1. How to develop colour and black and white film

2. How to reduce body fat ratio through diet and exercise

3. Everest Base Camp (how to train for it, what to bring and what to expect (vlogs) ) 

4. Which cameras and lenses suit my working style and which to ignore.

5. Photoshop (i taught myself photoshop and retouching off YouTube)

6. Lightroom, InDesign & Premiere Pro ( These are all part of my day to day working life)

7. Scanning film well

8. How to load film into 16mm cameras and shoot on 16mm cameras. 

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Things I want to learn or do inspired by YouTube in 2017/18

7. Learn to shoot Large Format Photography

8. Go to Bali, Sri Lanka & Patagonia.

9. Buy and learn how to fly a drone. 

10. Improve shooting on 16mm for personal projects. 

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So effectively, some of the most important income earners for me have been self-taught and inspired from learning through YouTuber created content. That sounds strange and it feels weird to have not put more back into YouTube. I will be making more shit for YouTube, when i have something to say. I'm fairly outspoken so expect a prolific wave of creative!

It's taken me a while to aggregate why I've gone off certain social media and yet still love using others. Here are some of my favourite channels, documentaries and blogs which i've found unbelievably amazing or inspiring over the last couple of months. 

Big love
Dan

Eric Kim (He is outspoken and spouts a lot of shit, but also a lot of good stuff) https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJOL6q7RhSJbhwTQAaJOwiQ  

http://www.35mmc.com/

http://www.japancamerahunter.com/

Sawyer Hartman - Really great cinematic travel and photography vlogs https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpsHnULJAkwwckxzdmspKDw

Eduardo Paves Goya - Informative, real world photography vlogs

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR-I25_yEl_frEZ26I9ty-w

Oysays - Photography - really creatively put together

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVwBcb_MDEHD7plaPrI_rlQ

Big Head Taco - Photography - so informative and objective - real world reviews

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfB68azfesws3hLpJ-L-8Ag

Erik Conover - Lifestyle and travel vlogs. Amazing drone work 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCu8ucb1LRJd1gwwXutYDgTg

Casey Neistat - It's not cliched to enjoy his work.. it's brilliant and informative

https://www.youtube.com/user/caseyneistat

CREATIVE ROADBLOCKS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM

I have written out this paragraph four times. That's the difference between my usual creative fluidity and my present state of ambivalence in the form of a motherflippin' creative roadblock. I've been fighting with anxiety and my mental health recently and a lot of it due to the changing shape of the field i work in. I'm sorry, clients, but this is my formal retirement from free shots and no fee shoots. 

PROBLEM // ROADBLOCK

OVERSHOOTING.
I don't mean taking too many photos. I mean taking on too many shoots. I've been shooting a lot in 2017 but the projects haven't always kept me inspired. Unfortunately, only a handful of the projects (and fallen through projects) have really felt like stepping up to the next level.. something that has felt like it was something to pull off rather than a sure thing.
 I MISS taking risks, stepping up and put my neck out there.  OPINION CAVEAT I - Shooting safe with your creative is the slow death of your creative. I'm addressing this right now as much as i can as i have hit my ambivalence stage. I've shot too much and the same thing too much. 
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I LOVE YOU FELLOW FILM SHOOTERS **BUT** OPINION CAVEAT II - Shooting on film is not THE creative process. It's what's in front of the lens and how you choose in the moment to or plan to express it. For the pros - C'mon guys.. although sometimes we can, we shouldn't get through a meeting by saying.. "we'll shoot it on film" ..dust our hands off..drop the mic and bail. That isn't the mood board done and the creative signed off. Film is a just a medium with which you lay creative and obviously not the only medium available.

BUDGETS ARE A ROADBLOCK PROBLEM
When i get complacent like right now, (and after i've written a blog about it), i often fall on the same issue. I'm not taking enough of a fee photoshoot by shoot to get wholly invested in each and, as a result, i'm overshooting (to gather lots of the little fees to make a bigger pot) on jobs i'm not wholly invested in. Lots of little fee jobs just destroys you and runs you down. Take one bigger job and pick and choose the good ideas baby shoots as and when. SO here comes the time to say no. The most powerful letters out there.

Here is the standard problem for upcoming and established music/portrait photographers- 
 
OPINION CAVEAT III -  You can't give the Ritz to someone paying for a Travelodge as, after a while, a) they expect the Ritz for no money and b) when they actually have the right budget, they want to feel a real 'step up' and mentally for them that's normally a step up from you. Nope no.. off you fuck. I've seen it happen to many times to friends and have experienced it enough myself.

So no, under-evaluated budget shoots, you won't get endless pre-production for your £250-500. No freebies or ritz treatments anymore until the budgets are correct. Let this be a lesson to the newbies. Don't fuck your future selves over. 

Now, my refreshed plan is the same as my music videos. IDEAS FIRST. Whilst in pitch and pre-production process, i'm vowing to ignore the budget as an aspect all together and work on the ideas first until it hits point of production when we cost up. I LOVE A MEETING. That means we're ideating and coming up with something elevated, pre-meditated and i get to use my brain.  
If we can't make it happen this time budget wise, we hopefully can one day as their project grows and it'll be amazing for it. I'm not burning out over the walk around shoots any more. OPINION CAVEAT IV Budgets install realism and realism encourages safety and lack of dreaming. SO when you next plan a shoot, ignore the fucking budget as it will eventually fully fuck your creativity. Do what you want, they got you on board as they want you for you and your style. OK I FEEL BETTER ALREADY.

The best thing in the world is when a band and a management are so excited by an idea and route that the budget is a secondary aspect. So here's to sticking to my guns and you sticking to yours in 2017 from here on in. I really hope this has helped some of you hitting similar road blocks. 

BIG LOVE